Flashback - 4/19/10 - The Secret Service of Safari

Today is the first day of Safari. Mike, Kathy and I are doing a 5 night/6 day safari to Massai Mara, Lake Nakru, Hells Gate, and Amboseli. Mike and Kathy are volunteering at the orphanage while on their honeymoon. Pretty selfless to spend your honeymoon in a orphanage! I am not so sure I could do it. Giving up your "flower" on a cot with a two inch mattress underneath a mosquito net while geckos are crawling up the walls just doesn't sound romantic to me.

Anyway, Stanley and Esther, our Safari guides, picked the three of us up from the orphanage at 6am this morning. Some of the kids were already awake, so they grabbed our bags and carried them to the safari van. No one asked them to do it, they just like to help out. After they loaded our bags and pushed our van out of the mud, we were off!

Our first stop was actually Nairobi to go to the bank and get food from the market. Just like any other road trip you need junk food and lots of it! I think we finally left Nairobi around 9am, and didn't get to Massai Mara reserve until 4pm. Since it was so late in the day we only had about two hours to drive around. But were still able to see cheetahs, lions, lion cubs, lionesses, giraffes, zebras, elephants, and wildebeests.

We pulled into the campsite, Flamingo Lodge, about 6:30pm. The campsite is kind of like a ghost town. The only people here are the five of us (Stanley, Esther, Mike, Kathy and me) and four staff members (a cook, a helper and two Massai Warriors for security). I tell you what, being on Safari is a dream come true, but taking a hot shower and eating a real meal is a close second.

After I stuffed myself with spaghetti and meat sauce, green beans and carrots, fresh mango and bread with butter and jelly, I made my way to bed. Just as I was starting to feel relaxed and comfortable in these new surroundings, I realized the Massai Warriors were stationed 50 feet from my tent. On one hand it is reassuring to have protection from the wild animals, but on the other hand I am a totally spooked that the only thing separating me and two strange men with weapons is a canvas door with a broken zipper. I guess if they were to come after me I can use my bible to beat them over the head....

Flashback - 4/18/2010 - "Truth Be Told"

Before I came over here I was laid off due to a $1 million budget cut. I worked for an association of attorneys doing business partnerships and vendor sponsorships. My main role was to secure sponsors and exhibitors for the conferences hosted by the association. As a matter of fact, the Mid-Year Conference is going on right now in Austin, TX. And all I can think about is how bad I want the Mid-Year Conference to fail. I have visions that all of the vendors and sponsors are miserable and frustrated. So much so, that they demand for my return. I am fully aware that if I had not been laid off I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have the freedom to stay as long as I want. Yet, I still want them to fail.

I find it quite interesting that thousands of miles away from home I have feelings of vindication, jealousy and bitterness. I assumed all my worldly desires and insecurities would fade away while being over here. Obviously that is not true.

The truth for me right now is that I feel I have no value unless I am the best at everything. That is not God's truth. God's truth is that we are enough just by who we are, and He loves us even in our most vulnerable state.