Flashback - 4/4/2010 - African Easter

It is Easter Sunday, so the other volunteers and I coordinated an Easter Egg Hunt for the kids at the orphanage. They do celebrate Easter at the orphanage, but they usually hunt for real eggs. JUST KIDDING! Their celebration is much less commercialized. There is no Easter bunny or Easter egg basket full of toys and candy. They simply celebrate Jesus and give thanks for his love. Wonder what holidays would be like in the States without a mascot and presents?

Flashback - 4/3/2010 - What now?

Okay God I made it safe and sound to WWB orphanage. What do you want me to now? What do you want me to do for these kids?

I want to serve these kids, but I don't know how. This is going to be a very interesting 3 weeks. Jesus, show me the way.

Hey all you bloggers out there: Have you ever felt that you know exactly what God created you for, yet at the same time totally confused on why you were put here on Earth?

Share your struggles with me, I need some company in this weird position.

Flashback - 4/3/2010 - Beep! Beep!

Traffic is CRAZY!! Only some of the roads are paved, and most of them are only two lanes. There is no system or driving laws. All you need is a drivers license and the courage to navigate through the chaos. The main mode of transportaion is riding a Matutu. A ride in a Matatu is an adventure in and of itself. A matatu is a 14 passenger mini-van. The matatus don't really follow the 14 passengar rule. As a matter of fact, the don't go anywhere until there is at least 20 people and it isn't strange if the passenger sitting next to you is a chicken.

Never again will I complain about crappy public transportation.

Flashback - 4/3/10 - Talk is CHEAP

This morning Martha and Pacomis helped me buy a cell phone just for my time in Kenya.
The whole cell phone issue was a big concern for me. AT & T charged insane fees for international roaming - $5.00 a minute. I wasn't sure how I would be able to communicate with the fam.

Well as most of the things I get anxious about, it was no big deal at all. Pacomis took me a cell phone store, which is basically a vendor on the street to buy the phone, charger and credits. The cell phone, SIM card, and credits came to about 2,000 ksh ($26). After that we were on our way to the orphanage.

If you can get a cell phone and minutes for that cheap, why do we pay so much??

Flashback - 4/2/10 - Hotel Paradise in Nairobi

It is 12am and we just got to the hotel in Nairobi. The name of the hotel is "Citywall Hotel". It should be called "Hole in the Wall Hotel".
It looks like one of those motels you see in a cheesy action film where the escaped prison mate shacks up to hide from the police. Maybe it is not that bad. "Citywall Hotel" has four floors with all the rooms inside the building, mosquito nets, security guards and a reception desk. They only take cash - schillings. It costs 5500 schilling ($73) for two rooms including breakfast. I can hear people talking on the street, and even though I have no idea what they are saying, I am certain they are buying drugs and selling their bodies.

I took a shit in a hole in the ground, which surprisingly wasn't that bad. The hard part is aiming your pee so it doesn't splash on your feet.

God - I ask you to help me adapt to these situations. I came here to experience the Kenyan life and culture. I also pray you keep me healthy and diarrhea free.

Have you ever stayed somewhere that the person in the next room could have been featured on "Americas Most Wanted"?

Flashback - 4/2/2010 -Swahili Lesson in Mid - Air

It is Friday April 2, 2010 at 5:15pm. I am on the plane to Nairobi with about 4 hours left to go. Outside the window is this amazing view of the Sahara Desert. It seems to go on forever even at 37,000ft. How long would it seem if you were stranded there? Just thinking about it made me push the flight attendant button to ask for water.

I am sitting next to a young man who is from Nairobi, but has been schooling in London. He helped me learn some swahili. I had all the intentions to memorize phrases and such before I left, but it didn't happen.

Jambo -- hello
Jina langu ni Tracy -- My name is Tracy
Jina yako ni ?? --- what is your name?
Asante Sana -- thank you very much
Nina sikianja -- I'm hungry
Wewe ni mrembo -- you are pretty
tafadhali -- please
bafu iko wapi -- where is the bathroom?
pesa ngapi -- how much?
Habari Yako -- How are you?
Mzuri Sana -- very good
kwaheri -- bye
lala salama -- sleep well
benki iko wapi -- where is the bank?
kulia -- right
kushoto -- left
pole -- sorry (excuse me)

Once you get the hang of the pronuciations, it seems pretty easy.

Flashback - 4/2/10 - Campaigning on an airplane

I just met a man who is running for president of Kenya, Ledama Olekina. At first I thought "WOW! This is a big deal." But come to find out there are hundreds of people who campaign and run for president. From what I understand Kenya has seven tribes and in these tribes there are many sub groups. So, that means lots of people run for president.

The current President is Mwai Kibaki. Kenya gained its independance in 1963, so he is only the third President. His predecessors were Jomo Kenyatta and Daniel Moi. From what I can tell, there is not such a warm fuzzy feeling about Moi.

The man I met - Ledama Olekina, www.ledama.com, was smart to take advantage of such a captive audience. He was moving around the plane, shaking hands, and kissing babies. He was actually very nice and easy to chat with. He was curiout about my trip and said I should stop by his farm - Enkanasa Village Organic Farm to taste some of their fruit and vegetables. I am not sure we will have time, but I have his phone number. You never know, he might win the election and I will have a direct dial to the President of Kenya :)

Flashback - 4/1/10 - 1 Samuel 18: 13-14

"So he sent David away from him and gave him command over a thousand men, and David let the troops in their campaign. In everything he did, he had great success because the Lord was with him."

The way I read this is not that God will bring success to anyone if they say the believe in Him. He will bring success to those who follow His will and live the life he created them for. I can recognize my "success" with this trip b/c God is with me and I know I am doing His will. I do still have that feeling of "spiritual superiority" and ask you help me keep that in check. If I do all of these things in vain or to promote myself, then less people will get to know you. And my whole purpose in life will not be fulfilled. God, I pray you surround me with people who will help me with that struggle and ego. I also ask for the courage to share those emotions as they come up.

Flashback - 4/1/10 - Excitement comes back

The anxiety has gone out the window and the excitment and pure
joy is back.

God, I want the rest of the world to experience this joy and happiness. I know the only reason I am able to feel these feelings is because of you. Before I let you in my life, I was lost and confused. I thought I could find happiness in money, clothes, bars, men, and reality TV shows. I still enjoy all of those thigns, but they don't bring me true joy. I imagine the reason I feel this joy is becuase I am doing what you created me for. Thank you for guiding me to this place. I sure didn't find it on my own.

God, please give me the words to share the story you want to be told. This is your story, and I hope I can introduce you to others this way.

Mom and Marlo are on my mind. God, I pray you put the right job in Marlo's path. I pray she find what she enjoys to do and have the opportunity to explore it.

God, as you know mom is crazy nervous about my trip. I pray you calm her nerves and diminsh her fears. I pray you fill her heart with peace knowing this is your doing and you have me in your hands.

I do want to come back alive and without harm. I want to live more and see what you have planned for me. But I am also okay if something happens and I die. It is REALLY weird to say that, but I imagine if something does happen my story might inspire others to grow in relationship with you. Please don't take this to mean I want to die, but it feels good to know be overwhelmed with anxiety about the outcome of this trip.

Flashback - 4/1/10 What are the kids like?

I am at the airport and wondering about the kids. What are they like? What are they doing right now? It is about 7pm in the evening there, so I imagine they are doing homework, and making dinner. I pray they are healthy and growing strong. I pray any issues or heartache they have, they turn to you first. I pray they have strong minds, bodies and spirits.

At this moment I feel like I should maybe stay another week. God, if this is what you want please let me know. If so, I pray that I don't have to pay the change of flight fee for $100.

Flashback - 4.1.10 - Prayer for guidance on contribution

God, I thank you so much for giving me the money to take this trip. I don't know how you got all these wonderful people inspired to contribute, but it is AWESOME!
I think I will have about $1000 to give to WWB. I pray that you help me make a wise decision on how you want the money to be used, and not just give on my terms. I just want to be a good steward of your money.

Should I tell Geoffrey that I am considering making a donation but want to see how things operate first? Is that appropriate? Or should I just observe and make the decision once I am settled in? I am not sure if it would be demanding or condesending to say "I have money to give, but only if you operate your organization as I see fit." Who am I to know what is the best way to run an oprhanage in Kenya? I guess that is what you are for, God :) It is all up to you! Just let me know which direction you want me to take.

It's a process - Day 5

I have been back home for 5 days now. Maybe we should say 4, because that first day home I was totally out of it. During the day things felt surreal and awckward. During the night I had crazy dreams and woke up confused about where I was. Laura, a volunteer from South Carolina, said the weird dreams could be caused by Malarone, my anti-malaria medicine. That may be true, but a few times in college I woke up confused about where I was and I wasn't taking Malarone. I think the cuase of my confusion back then was from too many Swirls at The Mont.

The transition has been hard and I am not really sure what I feel. I am sad to be gone, thankful for the journey, glad to be home, hopeful I will be able to go back and terrified I will forget all the precious moments.

I thought I would want to see and talk to everyone right away, but that is not the case. It seems hard to muster the energy to tell the story as it should be told, and the words don't seem to be coming out as I would like. I have tried to share a bit of the experience with mom, dad and kip, but things seem to fall short. It was different while I was there because all of the volunteers were in the same boat. They knew what I was talking about when I said "UGH! We are having Ugali again tonight!" I am also dealing with a bit of guilt. I am not sure if my guilt is warranted, or if I am just falling into a lifestyle pattern. Before the trip I didn't realize how often I feel guilt. So that is another thing I am processing. I hope my journey backwards will help me work through some of these things.

preparation for the flight

I am getting ready to leave for the airport. Because we didn't have electricty on Tuesday and Wednesday, I haven't showered since Monday. Without electricity to boil the water, it is a very cold shower! So I opted to wait until today.

The "shower" is an outside stall the size of my linen closet with no running water and I have to calculate each move when preparing for a shower:

1. fill up hot water kettle and plug in so it can boil
2. Put on flip flops
3. fill my randall's re-useable grocery bag with towel, change of clothes, shampoo and conditioner, loofah, and sometimes a razor
4. grab my bucket and cup
5. Take the bag to the "shower" and turn the sign on the door to "busy"
6. check on hot water to see if boiling
7. start filling up bucket with regular water
8. take boiling water and combine it with the bucket water
9. fill up kettle again so I can have hot water the entire "shower"
10. carry bucket full of to shower - about 30 yards away from where I fill the water

Once in shower -
1. get undressed, except for flip flops
2. make sure towel is hanging on the back of the door so I can easily wipe my eyes
3. throw loofah in to the bucket along with a cup
4. put soap on loofah and start to wash
5. rinse off soap with cup
6. fill cup with water and pour over my head to wash and condition my hair
7. dry myself off, and step into the bucket without flipflops on to clean my feet
8. while standing in water, put clothes on (which means I have to balance on one foot at time
9. wrap towel around my head
10. put flipflops on and wash them in water

I will need to do all of these steps before leaving for airport, which is no big deal. I have been doing it for 5 weeks. HOWEVER, this time I have to add a few more calculated steps. My clothes and shoes are dirtier than an XXX rated film. Fortunately, I kept one outfit and pair of flip-flops tucked away in my suitcase for this occasion. They will not be brought out until I leave for the airport. I am so EXCITED to put these clothes on!!! The clothes I will put on right after the shower are different than my airplane clothes. I will also take extreme caution when washing my feet (they are so dirty it looks like I have a tan line). Once I get them as clean as possible I will put on a pair of socks and my tennis shoes. I won't change into my flip flops until I get the Nairobi Airport.

Au revoir Kenya!!!

Today is my last day in the orphanage. My time here was nothing like I expected, yet everything I expected and then some. I have kept up my journal almost everyday so I will be back posting (if that is even a word) once I return home. I can't wait to share how amazing God has been to me on this trip. He gave me the gift of getting to know the children, staff, volunteers, and people in the community. But most importantly He showed me His love and I feel closer to him than ever before.

Please pray for a safe journey home
Love,
Tracy

Hanging with the kids

I am sitting at the Watoto Wa Baraka with Beatrice, Joyce, Erick, Simon, and Albert. We finished dinner about 9:00pm and are now playing on the computer.

Beatrice is 14 yrs old, and wants to work with computers as well as run her own orphanage. She hopes to take care of HUNDREDS of kids who are vulnerable and in need. She prays to God that all the kids at WWB have food, love and peace. She also prays for internally displaced persons who were misplaced during post-election violence.

Erick is a staff member of the orphanage who works in the field for the sponsored kids of WWB. He does school and home visitation to find out what the children need. Most kids live in the village but he still has to walk 10 to 15 miles a day.

Simon is a crazy silly boy who doesn't know if is 10, 11, 12 or 13 years old. He can't remember :) Simon wants to be a sweeper when he grows - up, which is good because he sweeps everyday at the orphanage. Just now he changed his mind and wants to be a pilot. Now he wants to be a football player. He has a lot of decisions to make!

Even though it is past their bed time, the kids are still watching football. Well everyone but Simon, he is still sweeping!

The kids say hello and GOOD MORNING!

God Bless all of you andc we send this message with much love.
Tracy, Beatrice, Simon
Erick

Holy Cow!

I might be buying a cow for Watoto Wa Baraka!

The kids get three good meals a day, but only get milk once a week. A local nurse strongly recommended they drink at least one glass of milk per day. Solving this problem is not as easy as one would think. WWB doesn't currently have the funds to provide milk each day for all 34 kids. Even if they did have the $$, they don't have a refrigerator big enough to keep the milk from spoiling. In addition, the electricity can be unreliable. They have it, but there are many days when it is off for hours at a time.

So I started discussing with Zach, the orphanage manager, ways I can help resolve the problem. I told him investing in the children's future is important to me, and I feel a glass of milk a day is necessary for the kids to grow strong and healthy.

Zach just came to me and said it would be best to buy a cow. He said buying a cow is not only a long term resolution, but better for the kids. If they have their own cow, they can ensure the milk will be safe to drink. So tomorrow we are going to look at cows. The requirement is that the cow will produce at least 10 liters a day.

I will keep you posted on how the purchase is coming along. In the meantime start thinking of names for the cow!

Love to all!
Tracy

Day in Nairobi

Hello everyone!
I am at an internet cafe again, so don't expect much...

Today two other volunteers - Stella and Vicki- and I came to Nairobi with a staff member from the orphanage- Erick. His family runs a center for children with cerebal pasley. It was great! Erick's family served us tea, and bread with butter! I haven't had butter since I left the states. We visited a family in the slums of Nairobi (mom, I promise it was safe!) who have TWO kids with CP. After that we went to the center where they offer therapy and other services to these family. They work with about 185 kids and work with budget of about $4500/ year!!!

We are on our way back to WWB. I missed the kids a bit today. I think I am starting to get attached. One of the girls, Amenia, gave me a hand written note on Friday evening. She said she was happy i was there, grateful for my time and God for sending me. At the end of the note she wrote - "Love God" It made my heart so happy! I know in my heart that it was another way God was communicating with me. I am in the right place right now and need to just focus on not only giving love, but learning to accept love.

All for now!
BTW - this time on the computer costs 25 schilings. I think it is like 50 cents

I love all of you, and bless you for supporting my trip.

TracyNAfrica

First Week -

Goodness this has been an interesting week. I am at an internet cafe in Thika. Thika is about 45 minutes from Makuyu,where the orphanage is. To get here we walked about 20 minutes to the bus stop to jump on a Matutu. The Matutu bus ride took about 45 minutes. I think we are the only white people in the area. Everyone stares at us as we walk by and kids come up wanting to touch our hands. I imagine it is the same experience as a movie star. The reason the kids are so interested in touching us is because they think we are grown babies. All people are born white, even Kenyans. So the kids think we are big white babies. I hope I am making sense. I don't have much time and my thoughts are racing in every direction.

Overall I have had a great time. There was a bit of adjustment time, but things seem to be getting easier. There are 6 other volunteers from all over. Two from San Diego, one from South Korea, one from Germany,one from Canada, and one from England.

The kids are great. They all have thier head shaved b/c of school. So it was hard to tell boys from girls. There are 34 in total, and I have started to get to know a handful of them. I have so many stories and thoughts in my head and so little time!

There have been some frustrating moments. For example, some of the kids have been sick this week and at first it seemed as if the staff wasn't doing anything to take care of them. That was not the case. They just handle things differently than I would. Also, there communication is different. I think because there are so many kids (34 in total), staff (8), and volunteers (7) they have time to make sure everyone knows what is going on.

I have also struggled to stay in the present. When I left I came with the desire to just serve and love others. That is still the case, but I started to feel like I needed to make a difference and change their lives forever. The more I accept how things are at that very moment and remind myself I don't have to make this huge impact. All I have to do is love.

I have been reading my bible, and landed on James today. The entire chapter speaks to what I am going through, and how God wants me to handle these things. If you have time read it. The chapter is not that long.

I have to go now. Hopefully the next time I blog I will be able to make sense.
Love to all!!!

As the band "Peter, Paul & Mary" sang - I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

Can't type much. About to leave the house to go to DFW. I was getting things together at the very last minute. Hope I can talk to you guys while I am there.

This is AWESOME!!

With Love -
Tracy

Roxy

God, I have a really big favor to ask... will you please keep Roxy safe while I am gond? I know dad will give her food and water and take her for a walk, but i am scared she will get out. Just please keep her safe. She has been with me 10 years and I am not ready to let her go.