Flashback - 4/19/10 - The Secret Service of Safari

Today is the first day of Safari. Mike, Kathy and I are doing a 5 night/6 day safari to Massai Mara, Lake Nakru, Hells Gate, and Amboseli. Mike and Kathy are volunteering at the orphanage while on their honeymoon. Pretty selfless to spend your honeymoon in a orphanage! I am not so sure I could do it. Giving up your "flower" on a cot with a two inch mattress underneath a mosquito net while geckos are crawling up the walls just doesn't sound romantic to me.

Anyway, Stanley and Esther, our Safari guides, picked the three of us up from the orphanage at 6am this morning. Some of the kids were already awake, so they grabbed our bags and carried them to the safari van. No one asked them to do it, they just like to help out. After they loaded our bags and pushed our van out of the mud, we were off!

Our first stop was actually Nairobi to go to the bank and get food from the market. Just like any other road trip you need junk food and lots of it! I think we finally left Nairobi around 9am, and didn't get to Massai Mara reserve until 4pm. Since it was so late in the day we only had about two hours to drive around. But were still able to see cheetahs, lions, lion cubs, lionesses, giraffes, zebras, elephants, and wildebeests.

We pulled into the campsite, Flamingo Lodge, about 6:30pm. The campsite is kind of like a ghost town. The only people here are the five of us (Stanley, Esther, Mike, Kathy and me) and four staff members (a cook, a helper and two Massai Warriors for security). I tell you what, being on Safari is a dream come true, but taking a hot shower and eating a real meal is a close second.

After I stuffed myself with spaghetti and meat sauce, green beans and carrots, fresh mango and bread with butter and jelly, I made my way to bed. Just as I was starting to feel relaxed and comfortable in these new surroundings, I realized the Massai Warriors were stationed 50 feet from my tent. On one hand it is reassuring to have protection from the wild animals, but on the other hand I am a totally spooked that the only thing separating me and two strange men with weapons is a canvas door with a broken zipper. I guess if they were to come after me I can use my bible to beat them over the head....

Flashback - 4/18/2010 - "Truth Be Told"

Before I came over here I was laid off due to a $1 million budget cut. I worked for an association of attorneys doing business partnerships and vendor sponsorships. My main role was to secure sponsors and exhibitors for the conferences hosted by the association. As a matter of fact, the Mid-Year Conference is going on right now in Austin, TX. And all I can think about is how bad I want the Mid-Year Conference to fail. I have visions that all of the vendors and sponsors are miserable and frustrated. So much so, that they demand for my return. I am fully aware that if I had not been laid off I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have the freedom to stay as long as I want. Yet, I still want them to fail.

I find it quite interesting that thousands of miles away from home I have feelings of vindication, jealousy and bitterness. I assumed all my worldly desires and insecurities would fade away while being over here. Obviously that is not true.

The truth for me right now is that I feel I have no value unless I am the best at everything. That is not God's truth. God's truth is that we are enough just by who we are, and He loves us even in our most vulnerable state.

Flashback - 4/17/10 - Once a mother, always a mother

I just found out I have some sort of worm. I have no idea what kind of worm, or what medicine they gave me because I didn't go to the docotor, just my poop did. I know it was stupid of me not to get that information, but I can't change that now. I am for sure not telling mom. She will get pissed that I didn't find out all the information for myself. Here is how the conversation will go:

"Mom, we figured out why all the kids are so sick, they have ameobas."

"Oh no! Are they okay? Did you get tested too, Tracy?"

"Yeah the kids have been given medicine which is supposed to take care of it. Yeah, I got tested."

"Well....?"

"Well, I had a different kind of worm."

"What kind of different worm, Tracy?"

"I don't know mother." (I always say 'mother' when I am annoyed or when I kow she is right and I don't want to admit it).

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!?!? Tracy, let me understand this correctly, you sent your poop with someone else and just took whatever pill they gave you? How do you know it wasn't some sort of illegal drug???"

"I don't know for sure, but if it was an illegal drug I got cheated because I didn't get high."

"Tracy that is not funny. You need to be more responsible. You are 33 years old. Didn't I teach you better than that?"

"Nope you didn't. If I die from some unknown worm it is all your fault. Seriously mom, we both know you taught me many valuable lessons. I just chose not to follow the rules this time. And it all worked out just fine."

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. ARE YOU?

P.S. I LOVE YOU MOM!

Flashback - 4/16/10 - Bonding Over Bowel Movements

A handful of kids have tested positive for amoebas (parasites). I am pretty certain the amoeba is the cause of the high fevers and upset stomachs. My favorite nurse at Don Bosco, Sister Agnes, recommended we test every child for parasites. I immediately envisioned all 35 kids making the four mile trek to the hospital with me and the other volunteers in tow. The villagers have enough reason to stare at us Mzungos (white person), they don't need a parade. But I figured the humiliation would be worth it to keep the kids safe from disease. If only that was the way things turned out. Sister Agnes handed over 35 containers for us to collect the stool samples ourselves and bring it back the next day. OH KINYESHI! (OH SHIT!)

Bright and early the next day we rang the bell and the kids came running. They were so excited because they thought we were calling them to play a game. Well I guess if you call shitting in a cup a game, let's play!

The rules of the game:
1. Take a piece of newspaper and plastic bag
2. Go find a quiet place to shit on the newspaper
3. Carefully wrap the shit in the newspaper and place in the plastic bag
4. The first one done wins a prize!

I have never seen so many people shit on call. It has to be the way they sit. They squat so low, their butts almost touch the ground which allows for gravity to suck the "kinyeshi" out.

The winner if the game was Little Joyce. Not only did she finish first, she had the best presentation. She had carefully pooped in the middle of the newspaper, folded it into a perfect square, placed it in the plastic bag and tied a knot. When she handed it to me she said "For you". You can see her winners glow in the picture. And that is how you bond over bowel movements.

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 4/16/10 - Hell on Earth

After dinner Zach, the Watoto Wa Baraka orphanage manager, and I had a conversation about the hardships some of the kids went through to get to Watoto Wa Baraka. The more I get to know the staff and the orphanage, the more I realize the significant impact it will have on these children's lives. Watoto Wa Baraka litterally saved some of the kids from death. Each child has a story as to how they got to Watoto Wa Baraka. They are all heartbreaking, but one in particular rattled my faith.

In 2008 the country was in the middle of a tribal and political warfare. More than 200 people of the Kikuyu tribe took shelter in a local church expecting the enemy would not attack in God's home. Unfortunately, they were dead wrong, literally. One woman that was burned to death was a single mom raising an 11 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. Thank God the kids were not in the area during the attack, but they suffered the consequences severely. For more than three days the two children waited for their mother to come home. They were left to fend for themselves and eventually ran out resources, food and shelter. These two children were one of the first to call Watoto Wa Baraka home.

The girl turned 14 this year, and is a leader at Watoto Wa Baraka. She settles the kids down after dinner so they can read bible scripture, she studies while the other kids play, she takes care of the younger kids and out of the all the kids in the orphanage she has the biggest smile and the most intoxicating laugh.

As you read the story think about all the petty things our government fights over. All the verbal attacks from Democrats to Republicans and from Republicans to Democrats, and now the Tea Party. No matter how bad Jon Stewart or Glenn Beck think things are, they just simply are not.



GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

80 children massacred in church fire

Flashback - 04/15/2010 - Dog Bites

Today Priscilla and I took a trip to a private hospital, Don Bosco, to help one of the sponsored girls, Mary. Mary was bitten by a rabid dog on her leg three days ago (April 12) and hasn't received any medical attention. The reason she has not been to the hospital is not because her mother is neglectful, but because they don't have money to pay for the immunizations. The good news is that Watoto Wa Baraka pays for the sponsored kids medical needs. Mary and her mother walked five miles (10 miles round trip) to the hospital, and have to make that hike four more times over the next two weeks to complete the immunization. I am not a doctor, but I am certain walking 10 miles to and from a hospital with the excruciating pain and numbness in your leg from a dog bite is no walk in the park.

Makes you appreciate the things we take for granted, like immunization shots.

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 04/16/2010 - Shaking Hands, Kissing Babies

Erick and I spent five hours in the field today visiting some of the kids sponsored by Watoto Wa Baraka. It was hot, treacherous, and fun! All the kids we pass along the way run behind yelling "Mzungo!Mzungo!Mzungo! How are you?" Then they run up smiling and giggling to touch my hand. It is delightful to see pure bliss from a simple wave, hand shake and respond to their greeting in Swahili "Haburi Yako! Jina langu ni Tracy. Jina yako ni?" (How are you? My name is Tracy. What is your name?). Once we get past the formalities, we hold hands and skip down the path as far as they can go.

Have you skipped with anyone today?

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 04/15//2010 - Cerebral Palsy in a Third World Country

We went to Nairobi today to visit Erick's cousins, Mary and Peter. It took three different matutu's and a "private" bus ride to get to their home. The highlight of the bus ride was listening to Jay Z's classic hip-hop rap smash hit "Big Pimpin".

Peter and Mary have a 10 year old daughter, Immaculate, with Cerebral Palsy. Because of Immaculate they have started a movement to fight the stigma of children with Cerebral Palsy in Kenya. In Kenya it is perceived as a shameful thing to have a child with a deformity or illness like Cerebral Palsy. More often than not, kids are abandoned and left to die. Even if their parents do keep them, the child has very solitary life. They are kept under lock and key and treated as if they were an animal. Peter and Mary have gone against the grain with Immaculate and take her everywhere. Their mission is to educate the public about CP, provide services and medical help to the families, and give the children a chance to live a normal life.

Peter wanted us to learn more about the difficulties of having a child with CP in a third world country. So he took us to visit a family with TWO kids with Cerebral Palsy. They live in the Nairobi slums in a one room apartment on the seventh floor. Can you imagine?!? That means they have to carry their 75lbs children up and down seven flights of stairs everyday. Think of that the next time you take an elevator to the second floor of a building carrying only your laptop.

When we walked in to their apartment the mother, Susan, was holding her 8 year old son, Paul, and hand feeding him. Paul doesn't have control of his esophagus, and therefore spits up more food than he consumes.

The other son, Alex, is 6 years old and is a bit more mobile than Paul. He is able to pull himself up to the window and look out at the neighbors. It probably took Alex 10 minutes to get positioned just right, but he was so happy once he was able to look out that window. He filled the whole room with his joyful laugh.

The entire visit I kept thinking how much they must sacrifice for their kids to be in a loving home. The part that I still can't wrap my head around is that they really don't have anything, so they are sacrificing more than what they have.

Both of these families actions and love for those in need, including their own family, reconfirms my belief that God created us to serve, therefore we must.

Think back over the last week. What have you sacrificed for someone else?

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 04/13/2010 - How to make coffee in Kenya Orphanage

Flashback - 04/13/2010 - Not so much

The guy volunteer just arrived. I am pretty certain we aren't soul mates. There is nothing wrong with him, just not my type, nor am I his. He did make me coffee, which I haven't had since arriving at Watoto Wa Baraka. He took the beans right off the coffee tree, dried and roasted them, and then used a mortar and pestle to grind the beans. I don't know maybe coffee making skills is enough to build a long lasting relationship :) See YouTube Video blog.

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 04/13/2010 - Match made in a Kenyan Village??

OMG! I just found out a guy volunteer is coming today! YAY!!! How romantic would it be to meet my husband at an orphanage in Kenya?? Our love story would be movie material, or at least get us on Oprah :)

I am not ashamed to say I said a little prayer to God about this. I wonder if God likes cheesy romantic love stories like I do?


GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 04/11/2010 - Letter of Love

Right after dinner tonight Anima, whom I have mentioned before, sheepishly and quietly handed me something. She smiled and whispered "don't read this until you are alone."

So I came directly back to my dorm room to read it. She handmade an envelope with a piece of paper, and put a note inside. There are no words to describe the feeling that came over me. The letter was an answer to one of my prayers. I have been doubtful if I have a purpose at the orphanage and think maybe I should just throw in the towel. The minute I started to read the rainbow marker colored words on her note, I knew this was God's doing. He knew I was doubting, and needs me to stay. I am still not certain why or what I am supposed to do here, but I have to find faith to do so. Wouldn't it be great if we could find our faith in a lost-in-found box? Or nail a sign up on a tree with the words "LOST FAITH. IF FOUND PLEASE CALL 512-788-4749. REWARD."

I hope you enjoy the letter as much as I do.

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 4/10/2010 - Ice Cream, Internet & French Fries

It is official! I have been at Watoto Wa Baraka Orphanage in Kenya for one week.

All the other volunteers and I went to Thika to use the internet and explore the city life. Thika is pretty fast paced with tarmac roads, banks, Grocery store, restaurants, hOtels and even a shoe store.

Having access to technology after seven Days of nothing (noCell phone, TV, DVD, running water, or electRicity) was quitE a treAt. But The biggest trEat of all was the fooD. I had french fries, cookies dipped in chocolate, ice cream, roasted maize (like corn on the cob), and pineapple. All of that went down my trap in two hours flat. The sUper market was lovely,mostly because it has fluShing toilets and soap dispensers.

Erick, the sTaff member whO accompanied us, gave uS 20 minutEs to do all our shopping because we had to catch the matatu by 4:00 pm to get back to the oRphanage before dark. Oy Vey! It was like we wEre on the game show "Super Market Sweep". I literally grabbed a basket and started runnnig to fiNd what I needed. The prOblem was I didn't know what I neEded. In eXactly 20 minutes I was able to grab four bags of Coffee, three apples, a bUnch of bananaS, peanut buttEr, popcorn, granola, chipS and ice cream. I got in line with two minutes to go and as my turn came up, I realized I didn't follow protocol with the produce. You are supposed To weigh and lAbel before you get in line. So an employee of the super marKet had to take thEm and do it for me. I wAs so Close to the finish line! I could see everyone waiTing for me on the other sIde. But unlike "Super Market Sweep" they were nOt cheering me on. They were aNnoyed.

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 4/10/2010 - Tiger Woods of Kenya

One of the orphanage staff members, we'll call her Mary, shared a story of heartache and relationship gone bad.

Mary was in relationship (how they say dating) with one man for about a year. This man is heavily involved in his church and respected by the community. The courtship began while they were in University. They saw each other daily, just spending time together and hanging out. She soon fell in love and gave him her heart, but not her body. After about 8 months in she found out he had been cheating on her, and therefore cut off all ties of communication. As any cheating man does, he tried to win her back. He sat outside her dorm room at University for hours on end and sent numerous text messages. He gained her trust back, so she give him one more chance. Just like in the movies, she found out the woman he had been cheating on her with was pregnant. Mary broke it off yet again, this time for good. She didn't want to get in between a man and a woman, because that is not what God would want. Mary says only through prayer and faith was she able to heal and forgive him. She believes the reason she was able to find peace so quickly is because she prayed for him, not herself.

I find it interesting that no matter where you go, even in a Kenyan Village, people suffer heartache and pain because of relationships. It taught me that the desire to be in love and relationship is world wide, and so is temptation and betrayal.

Have you been hurt? I certainly have. Have you tried to pray for the person who hurt you?


GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 4/09/2010 - Field Work

I remember when I first got the information about the different volunteer duties we could choose from : Laundry Assistant, Kitchen Assitant, HIV/AIDS Hospital volunteer, Gardening Assistant, Farm and Animal Care Assistant, Clean up after kids assistant (that is not the real name, but that is pretty much all you do), Teaching Assistant, and FIELD WQRK.
As the field worker assistant, you go around the nearby villages to check in on the sponsors kids, how exciting! At least it is to me.

Today was my first day in Field Work with Erick. We left about 8:30am and came back around 1:30pm. Not too bad of a work day, huh? Well we walked the entire time, probably about six miles. Six miles is not really that far to walk, but it is in a village with no paved roads, sidewalks, water stations, or place to stop and have lunch. I realized taking your work to lunch is not common like in America. First of all, there are no left-overs. People eat as much as they can when they have it. Even if they did have left - overs it would go to livestock, not in a glade tupperware containter and put in the refrigerator over night.

Not only did I enjoy getting to see how the villagers live and what kind of lifestyle, I was able to ask Erick questions about his life, dreams and other Kenyan cultural stuff.

Tracy: "What is your dream?"
Erick: "To run an orphanage in Nairobi that not only serves the kids, but also the community. The center would have HIV/AIDS counseling and education, Doctor on staff, job resource center, basically anything to help those in need."

Tracy: "What is your favorite food?"
Erick: "Um, I am not sure. I guess Ugali (yuck!) and Chipati (yum!). What is your favorite food, Tracy?"

Tracy: "I would have to say cheeseburgers and sushi. Have you ever had either one?"
Erick: "No. I think I know what a hamburger is, but what is sushi?"

Tracy: "How does it work with the kids who are sponsored? How do you know who needs one?"
Erick: "It is $25 to sponsor a child. That money will go to whatever it is they need. Usually it is school clothes, school supplies, matress, food, shoes, and etc. The people in the community tell me if another child is in need. We currently have 59kids sponsored, but have another 20 kids on the list waiting."

Tracy: "Why aren't the kids living at the orphanage if they are so needy?"
Erick: "About 90% of the sponsor kids are living with a grandparent, or other relative. So they are not considered orphans. Until of course the grandparent dies, and people live pretty long here. My grandmother lived to 120 years old."

Tracy: "Is it okay if I look at a man and smile?"
Erick: "That's a funny question. Why do you ask?"
Tracy: "Because I have tried to make eye contact with people, both men and women, and they all seem to look away."
Erick: "That is probably because you are a mzungo(white person). Some people here have never seen a mzungo. Have you noticed all the kids running behind us on the road? They have been yelling 'mzungo!mzungo!mzungo!How are you?' You see all babies are born white, even African babies. So they think you are a big baby, and want to touch the hand of a big white baby."

Tracy: "Why are there tons of calendars hanging on the walls of the houses?"
Erick: "That is how they decorate. How do you decorate at home?"
Tracy: "Well we usually paint the walls different colors, hang pictures of family, or art work up."

Tracy: "Is is rude for me to decline tea or bread when they offer it to me? It seems every home we have been to they offer tea, and I can't drink that much tea or I will have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes."
Erick: "It isn't rude. They probably won't stop asking, so it is easier to just tell them you only want a little."

** the picture is of me and local villagers. the older woman admired the bandana I was wearing, so I gave it to her.

GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES. TAKE ACTION.

Flashback - 4/08/2010 - Fire & Ice

Last night (4/7/2010) was really frustrating. During school I noticed one of the girls, Catherine, was not engaging in the class. She had this dazed look and tears were streaming down her face. She wasn't wailing, just sitting there, no sounds just tears. When I went over to ask if she was alright she didn't respond. I don't know if it was because she felt so bad, or if she didn't understand what I was saying. Probably a little of both.

The only thing I could think to do was take her temperature. She had a fever of 103. Since I don't really know how the orphanage handles sick kids, I asked for guidance from Zach, the orphanage manager. He said to give her some medicine, and check back in on her a little later.
WHAT!?!??! I didn't understand! Why didn't he drop everything to take appropriate action like my mom? When I had a fever that high my mom would throw my naked butt into a bath full of freezing water and ice.

Well a bath full of ice is not an option at the orphanage. So I opted for the alternative of Tylenol and kept a cold compress on her forehead until she fell asleep.

Surprisingly, Catherine came to dinner. I figured she must have broken her fever. Not true. She still had a 101.7 degree temperature.(I found out later that the kids don't miss a meal, no matter how bad they feel.) I immediately picked her up and took her to her bed. One of the older girls, Amina, followed me. Amina made sure Catherine ate some of her dinner while I put another cold compress on her forehead. Her fever did break in the middle of the night and she is doing okay today. Thank God!

Now looking back, I realized I over reacted. The orphanage staff handled the situation much better than me. They take good care of the kids and always have their best interest at heart. The kids have full stomachs, clean drinking water, are provided with an education and are given more love than anyone could imagine. I was just really confused and frustrated by the whole situation. It is frustrating when someone handles a situation different than you would. I am sure they were frustrated with me. I am a Middle Class American volunteer with no children. Who am I to make judgement on their way of life?

I am guessing this is another lesson of patience God is trying to teach me. I cannot impose my way of thinking onto them. The orphanage was here before I came, and will be here when I leave. But I tell ya, it is REALLY hard to keep my beliefs and values in check. Kenya has a totally different way of life and culture than the U.S.

Jesus - I ask for you to help me find patience. I pray for wisdom and discernment on how God wants me to spend my time here. Does He want me to just love and serve, or is there something more?

Flashback - 4/7/2010 - Human Sexuality, AIDS and Relationships

Today Priscilla, the teacher at the orphanage, and I went to the HIV/AIDS Hospital that WWB Orphanage has partnered with. When we arrived at the hospital, there were about 50 HIV positive individuals waiting to get counseling. It was a very surreal experience. As I walked by them I tried to smile, but I knew they knew I knew they had AIDS and it was really uncomfortable.

On the way back to the orphanage Priscilla and I talked about sex education in Kenya. Kenya is just now implementing sex education and awareness in the community. Unfortunately, they only focus on educating the women, not men. I guess the perception is that a woman in responsible for saying "no". Priscilla said men will target very poor children and women and offer gifts or money for sex. Because the women are so poor, they take the money to buy food, clothes, water or pay for school tuition. The women trade sex for things they have a right to have. Then once the man gets what he wants, he leaves the woman with an STD, or a baby on the way.

Because I am such a curious person, I couldn't resist asking if there was any education about self pleasure. I told her in America we have started to openly discuss masturbation so girls will learn to respect their bodies and not feel the pressure to have pre-marital sex.

Priscilla didn't really respond. Maybe I crossed a line, but I wanted to know. If I don't ask I will only make assumptions.

Remember: GOD CREATED US TO SERVE. NO EXCUSES ALLOWED. GET INVOLVED TODAY.

Flashback - 4/5/2010 - Someones in the Kitchen with Grace

Today I was on kitchen duty. We started at 9am sorting beans and didn't stop until 2pm. The kids are eager to help and seem to enjoy showing me the difference between "good" and "bad" beans. Grace, the cook, works pretty much all day long. She gets up around 6am to make porridge for the kids and tea for the volunteers. Then she starts to prepare lunch and dinner. In between all that she sorts beans, rice, maize, and peels pumpkin in preparation for tomorrow. Her day is complete after dinner is served, at 8pm.

It was a good first day and allowed me to get a feel for the kids personalities.

Flashback - 4/5/2010 - Lesson to be learned

Dear God -
I am still not sure why you sent me here. Am I supposed to get something out of this or am I here to impact the kids lives? Or neither? Why don't I know the answer to that question? Maybe this trip lesson in patience. But truth be told, I don't want to be patient. I want to know how the story ends before I read the book. Maybe I should just focus on being present. That is my prayer for today:

I pray to be present in each moment and with your help, experience life (both mine and kenyan).

I am curious, do you (you meaning blog followers) feel God is trying to teach you a lesson of some sort?

Flashback - 4/4/2010 - Am I really cut out for this?

Right now I am not sure I can stay for the whole trip. There is a pig pen right outside my dorm room. The pigs oink so loud it feels like they are in the room with me. Not to mention the smell - gross!

Oh, and the bathrooms. I officially retract my statement about the bathroom at the hotel. It was paradise compared to here. Last night I had to go to the bathroom twice and going to the bathroom here is not like going at home. At home I stumble into the bathroom, do my thing and stumble back to bed. It takes effort and awareness here. I have to get out of bed, grab my flashlight, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer. Then I put on my jacket, and rain boots. I don't put on the rain boots b/c of the rain. I put them on so the pee doesn't splash on my feet.


I foolishly thought I had realistic expectations about the orphanage. I keep telling myself it is not that bad, and I will adjust. I sure hope so!

I do appreciate the orphanage's attempt to make the toilet/shower more appealing. They named it "The Hilton". I am quite certain Paris Hilton wouldn't set foot in this "Hilton".